This is my favorite 3 year old grand daughter (and only grand daughter, plus she likes to snuggle 💓 ). Recently, when her mother (my daughter) was in the bathroom, she interrupted her mother by swinging the door wide open. With some indignation and a quick shove of the door to a mostly closed position, her mother said out aloud, "Could I get some privacy, please!!!"
About 20 seconds later, this cute urchin shows up again at the door, with her empty hands held together upfront in a cupped manner , and proudly declares with a big smile...
"Here's some privacy!!!!!!!!"
If only leaders could learn a lesson or two about coming from a position of love, instead of fear and intimidation! Then, like my baby grand daughter, you can say ANYTHING at ANYTIME because you are coming from a powerful position of love, trust and safety.
And I'm not talking about fear and intimidation AT your subordinates or your team.
I'm talking about the individual leader BEING strong, powerful, aware of their strengths and knowing that they are loved and important, such that fear and intimidation doesn't shrink THEIR confidence and being. They come and say things boldly and with strength, and know that they have created a great relationship with their team, family, business partner, neighbor, etc., such that they can say things without hesitation.
There's a lot to unpack here, but the main message that I have learned from coaching CEOs are that these powerful, creative and talented leaders play WAY below their potential.
- A client of mine recently had an external vendor deliver a poor quality software project way past the deadline, and the client was feeling more remorseful than the vendor.
- Another client allowed a poor performing executive to continue without the proper correction that would have helped all parties sooner.
- One CEO shouted out loudly and banged the table in the staff room because the Sales VP was staring at his laptop instead of participating in the discussion (and of course, no one wanted to talk after that).
- I remember one incident where the board member shouted out aloud about the poor numbers (I was there), and the CEO and leadership team crumbled instead of coolly providing more context and direction of the corrective change.
How would the outcomes have been if the leader was not in fear mode?
You can see how those four examples could have turned out better with power, confidence and quicker responses (not reactions).
As a CEO coach, I'll share some tips on how to overcome the negative aspect of our selves in future posts.
But in the mean time, I hope to remind us all that we are powerful, loved and safe in this journey of life (at home or at work), and that we can all come creatively with solutions as confidently as my grand daughter's "privacy" offering to her laughing mum.
Life is short. Let's enjoy it with love, laughter and unhesitating 'flow'.
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